Sunday, June 8, 2008

The Top 100 Reasons Why We Miss America


1)You can return things
2)They have price matching
3)There’s such thing as a customer service desk
4)You can flush your toilet paper
5)Toilet paper isn’t made of sandpaper
6)You can cross the street without almost being hit
7)You only have to push the elevator button once
8)You don’t open your elevator door and see a solid concrete wall in front of you
9)You don’t get harassed and spit on by gypsies
10)You don’t have to bleach your fruits and vegetables
11)Your water doesn’t randomly shut off
12)Your electricity doesn’t randomly shut off
13)Laundry lint doesn’t filter into your tub drain
14)You don’t have to stand in three feet of brown water when you shower
15)When your clothes get wet, you can throw them in the dryer
16)You don’t have to wear stiff underwear every day
17)Bird eggs actually hatch
18)Men don’t make grunting noises at you when you walk down the street
19)Dogs have homes
20)You don’t have to re-purchase a ticket that you already bought
21)Fleas don’t attack you in your sleep
22)You don’t see cockroaches on your bedroom floor
23)You can sit on your couch without getting stabbed in the back with a spring
24)When you’re hot, you can open a window without getting yelled at
25)There is air conditioning
26)Men actually drive masculine cars
27)Men don’t wear tight jeans or capris
28)The mullet isn’t cool anymore
29)You can wear a backpack without worrying about being robbed
30)People smile
31)The hospitals don’t look like a scene from a horror movie
32)You don’t have to take your own temperature
33)Cars don’t drive around all day with giant speakers blasting the same song over and over
34)You can sit on the floor without being lectured about your ovaries freezing
35)You can plug in your hairdryer without it going up in flames
36)When you close a door, it stays shut
37)You don’t have to store a years supply of tampons
38)Your television is good for something other than an end table
39)It only smells like a zoo when you are actually at the zoo
40)People wear deodorant
41)Women wear bras
42)Women don’t have mustaches
43)You don’t have fifteen children chasing you home
44)People don’t stare at you everywhere you go
45)A red light means stop
46)People don’t suddenly stop walking for random make-out sessions
47)You don’t have to dodge piles of dog poo on the sidewalk
48)You can use the expression “You got gypped” freely
49)You don’t get charged fifteen bucks for a watermelon
50)Milk comes cold
51)Physical therapists only touch their patients, not their coworkers
52)Blonde hair looks natural
53)Men don’t stalk you at the grocery store, then look up your number and call you
54)Your hands are the only ones that go inside your pockets
55)Your McDonald’s ice cream comes in a cone
56)You don’t have to hand wash all your dishes
57)You don’t have to light your stove with a match
58)Things are capable of being cooked without burning
59)You don’t have to check in your backpack before going into a store
60)Sweets taste as good as they look
61)You don’t have the sounds of sirens, dog fights, and techno music lullying you to sleep
62)You can eat something without the fear of throwing up later
63)You can wear flip flops without being judged
64)Priests don’t smack people with brooms
65)There are parking lots
66)You don’t have to dial five hundred numbers to call someone
67)You can fall asleep in public without getting yelled at
68)Cash registers have change for a five
69)The sidewalks don’t randomly drop off
70)Women don’t wear lingerie tops as everyday clothes
71)Women don’t flash their boobs around at the hospital
72)When the street sign says walk, you’re really supposed to walk
73)You don’t have to have a pin to use a credit card
74)You don’t have to seat yourself at a restaurant
75)People actually use napkins
76)They have more than one box of hair dye in stock
77)There are slurpees
78)Velvet is not the fabric of choice
79)You can hold your flowers upright without ppl thinking you’re going to a funeral
80)There are attractive men
81)Stores in the mall don’t randomly close in the middle of the day
82)You don’t have to bag your own groceries
83)You don’t have to worry about exchange rates
84)Restaurants don’t run out of food
85)Pampers aren’t a novelty
86)People don’t ask you for the shoes you are wearing
87)Public transportation is reliable
88)5-year-olds and men in wheel chairs don’t try to grope you
89)Dinner is served within 2 hours of ordering
90)Nail Polish flavored ice cream is not an option
91)13-year-olds don’t publicly smoke
92)Moms don’t steal the toys you bring for orphans
93)Dog fights aren’t your alarm clock
94)Bribery isn’t a common way to solve your problems
95)You can whistle without conjuring bad spirits
96)Wearing your shirt inside out isn’t offensive
97)The streets aren’t lined with loogies (sp?)
98)Nice bathrooms don’t only exist in nice restaurants
99)Yawning isn’t considered rude
100)You’re not likely to see “fried crap” on a menu

We thought we should end this list on a positive note…Romania does have chocolate gogosi and banana juice…it makes it all worth it!

P.S. This list was a result of a bad experience while trying to return a malfunctioning camera...

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